Usually, before I put finger to keyboard I do some research on some topics so as to appear as, ahem, a learned person. For this column I intended to in some way congratulate the flower gardeners in Pelham for establishing our community at the top of the list for flower blooms per capita. But alas, I found the polls don’t even rate our town in the top ten. For shame, I say!
But like an infamous politician to our south, I readily reject those polls as nonsense and assert that Pelham is among the top municipalities in floral abundance. A drive around any block will demonstrate the floral superiority of our local garden planters.
However, and before my age-worn memory fails me, my research revealed that men appreciate receiving bouquets as much as women. Who would have thought? This was a revelation that I wanted all the women readers of this erudite column to remember, particularly come next Valentine’s Day. Forget the bottle of Scotch and give him a bunch of flowers. For certain, he will love you for that!
You may be familiar with the adage, “A little learning is a dangerous thing.” Well I found the same may be true of research. In doing my digging I found that my assumption that the orchid was the most beautiful flower on earth was deflowered. Again I beg to differ with the pollsters who declare the that orchid is in fifth place behind the rose, which they claim is in first place worldwide.
Supposedly, the all-knowing botanists have declared this flower to be “queen of the garden.” I think a recount might be order here. I take some solace in that the pollsters at least ranked my favourite orchid one position ahead of the tulip. Nolo contendre, I dare say.
If you thought the lotus was maybe one of the most beautiful flowers, unfortunately it is ranked a lowly tenth position on the botanists’ measuring scale. That should give you some reason to doubt as to the veracity of their poll.
Flowers are used in a wide variety of settings, from birthing celebrations to funerals, and this certainly demonstrates their value to all societies around the world. Almost every occasion that is an occasion includes flowers.
Men use a bouquets of flowers to seek the favour of their beaus. Such beneficence may be attributable to a spontaneous assertion of their affection or maybe to help mollify a misdeed of some sort. Men know that a gifting to their beloved such as a bouquet of flowers causes the recipient's brain to release the chemical dopamine, a.k.a. the pleasure hormone. Every guy worth his salt knows it and uses such a ploy.
Well, it is time to vacate the nonsensical and turn to my serious intent to thank all the gardeners who make our town such a pleasurable sight to see. I am very grateful to my nearby neighbours who turn the barren soil about our place in spring to luscious greenery of all sorts, shapes, and colours for all to enjoy what we imagine the Garden of Eden may behold. Thank you, flower gardeners of Pelham, for the abundant eye-catching joy you have given your appreciative neighbours.
