No chill. None. You people have no chill. Just like my wife’s family.
Whenever I’m over there for Sunday dinner (a requirement, as per Italian in-law rules) and a car pulls into the driveway, the entire family springs out of their seats and runs to the window to see who it is. Everyone except me, that is. Because I’m chill, and I know that it's probably just a car pulling into the driveway in order to back out and turn around to go the other way down the street. And even if it isn’t, who cares, just wait and let them come to the door, and we’ll find out who it is then.
But no, they never do. Some compulsion forces them to run to the window and gawk. Because they have no chill. And neither does anyone else in Niagara it seems. And that’s not a good thing, economically speaking.
What am I prattling on about? Glad you asked. I’m whinging this week about the gaggles of looky-loos who feel the need to drive down to the movie set that is currently filming in Crystal Beach to… actually, I don’t even know what those people are doing. I don’t get why you want to go down there and stand around on the outskirts of the film set, taking pictures and gaping wide-eyed at people who are trying to film a scene.
Those film crew people are at work. That’s what I think people don’t quite understand. The guy rigging the lighting, the dude setting up speakers, the camera guy checking the monitors—they’re all just trying to work. Meanwhile every Tom, Dick, and Harry (who should probably be at work themselves) is spending their Wednesday afternoon staring at these poor guys just trying to get some work done.
Imagine if the reverse were true. Picture yourself at the office, trying to file some TPS reports or triangle graphs or whatever office job people do, but as you’re doing it, throngs of random people are crowded around your desk watching you type, taking pictures as you walk to the printer to grab that Excel spreadsheet copy.
That would be super annoying right? So why is it socially acceptable to just head down to a film set and do that?
It’s weird. You people are being weird, and you need to cut it out, because it’s going to hurt us in the long run.
As I said, these film people just want to do their job in peace, and if you won’t let them, they are going to go somewhere else to do it. Eventually, these movie industry people are going to get so fed up with the gawkers that they will stop coming to Niagara.
Which is a shame because this kinda thing can inject a lot of money into the local economy. Those camera guys and rigging dudes need to eat, they’re gonna do it at the local coffee shop, and if it’s a long film shoot, they’re gonna need to stay someplace, and they’ll do it at local hotels.
But all of that is going to evaporate if we can’t chill the heck out and leave them alone.
Every single time there’s been a movie or TV series filming here, someone posts the location on Facebook and suddenly every yahoo with a smartphone is down there snapping pictures to post on social media.
Do you think this kinda thing happens in Toronto or Los Angeles or Vancouver? Of course not, and that’s why so many things get filmed there, because the crews and the actors can go about their jobs without the gaggle of yahoos harassing them.
So just cut it out. Next time you’re tempted to drive down to a film set in Niagara and gawk, just remember the sage wisdom of legendary coach Vince Lombardi: act like you’ve been there before.
As the legend goes, it was 1967 and Lombardi watched in horror as his kick returner, Travis Williams scored a touchdown and started dancing in the end zone to celebrate.
Lombardi pulled him aside and said, “Travis, the next time you make it to the end zone, act like you've been there before.” That was all he needed to hear. Williams never danced in the end zone again.
Watching people ogle film sets, I feel like coach Lombardi, shaking my head and urging people to act like we’ve been here before.
Or don’t. Go ahead, continue to harass these people while they try to simply go about doing their job, and this problem will take care of itself when they just stop coming here to film, and take all that money elsewhere.
All because you guys couldn’t do one little thing: chill out.
James Culic only watches Japanese anime so there is no film set for him to gawk at anyway. Find out how to yell "Cut!" at him at the bottom of this page, or act like you’ve been there before and send a letter to the editor explaining why he’s such a wet blanket ruining everyone's fun.
